So... today I thought about Utah. I mean, I really really thought about it. And I think I could make it work. I would totally have to live in Salt Lake. I don't think it would be wise to move to Ogden or anything. 6 year just outside of NYC and move to Northern Utah. Could be social suicide. But.. (sigh) it would be nice to move closer to family. And I make friends pretty fast. I am just hoping that this is the move where I find a husband. And as much I dont' want to be that girl that moves somwhere so that she can start dating... I am that girl. dammit!! :)

So I have about 7 weeks to go here in Wilton. What a crazy life I am living. I cannot believe that I am leaving behind the money and health insurance just to jump into none of that. I think I might be nuts. Sheesh!! OH yeah-- and now I have to pay for gas. And uh, right now it is $4.53 a gallon!

so.. there it is. All out on the table.

just another manic week...

What a crazy week!! AUGH!!

I really thought I would have to give a friend a call to bail me out of jail. :) but I made it through...

I am conflicted this week. I am starting to think that maybe Texas isn't the answer for me. And that throws my WHOLE plan out of whack. Geeze... why can't I just feel good about something that I am about to do?

I comes down to "where am I supposed to be?" And as of right now, I don't have an answer. It is amazing to me that I don't have the right to just have these divine Revelations on cue :) I have to work at it just like everyone else....

I went to dinner with friends tonight. Funny story-- Shubert went on his mission 2 years ago. I said to him "If I am still here when you get home... take me out back and shoot me." Shub got home last week. AT LEAST I AM LEAVING :)

counting down

I have not been one for blogging. But I am really REALLY bad at my journal. It is funny how that works out. I used to be so good at writing in one. From the time I was in Jr. high I would write every night. Without fail. I remember once my HS boyfriend asking me to look back in my journal to see what we had done the year before on the 4th of July. I just rolled my eyes, but I knew I had probably written it down. Comes in handy that way.

I am leaving the security of this "blanket" I have had for the past 6 years. I have fallen so in love with Connecticut. Head over heels! I was so lost... and not able to even pull myself out of a rut I had gotten myself into 6 years ago. And I moved. I jumped in head first. I knew NO one out here. I had no idea where Old Greenwich even was! And I found myself on a plane. Flying to NYC and having no idea who it was that was even picking me up. He said his name was Joe. But I put complete faith in this situation. (sigh).

A year and a half after my first little guys. (Clem and Aub!) I found myself moving into the Pagliaro household. And found this little girl. This cute.. adorable little girl. and... she is now a mini Tara. And it is my favorite thing in the whole world.

and now.. it is time to leave. And I feel as though I am loosing my whole life. My heart and soul are here in this house. But it is time. It is time that Tara finds out who she is. And I am leaving my heart here. There is a song that talks about a man leaving his heart in San Fransisco. And I feel like I am leaving my heart in Wilton, CT.