Life gets hard sometimes. Truly. And I think we get caught up in thinking that if "we can just get to the next stage...." things will be great. Things will be all smooth sailing. I think sometimes I fool myself into thinking, "if I just had a family, I would be happy and things would be all worked out". And I know in my heart and in the back of my mind that isn't the case. But i still think it.
I also know that it can be a crutch for me. I think it holds me back. And this is when I get exasperated. I realize I am in this rut and it is hard to pull yourself out of it. That it makes me make some decisions in life that I think "Well, I guess I will have to ____ because I don't have a husband and kids yet.
I find myself in this now.... I have put myself in a situation that is really hard to get out of. I am going to be 33 this year, and I don't have much to show for it. And I need to figure out how to "be a grown up".
So now I am starting down a road that is going to be difficult. So wish me luck.... and lots of prayers.
3 comments:
You are one of the strongest, most loyal, dynamic and loveable people I know. Truly. You tell me you have to do something hard, and there is no doubt in my mind you will find a way to do it. In your focus and own strength though, don't forget you have support. :) Love you sister!
I understand what you mean. Especially the not feeling like I have anything to show for my life... it is hard figuring out what you want to be when you grow up.
You mean, do the work it takes to change and control my own life instead of blaming my circumstances?!? But that sounds hard! Seriously, I sure haven't figured this out yet, let me know when you do so I can get some tips... :)
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