I don't recomend the hospital...

So I was at the ER last night. WAIT... don't' worry-- not for me.

So my friend Hayley got sick yesterday, and as the pain increased so did her worry. So she called me around 6 to tell me that she had gone to the hospital and they think she has appendicitis. NOT FUN. Two very wonderful men showed up to give her a blessing. And so we took turns--between the 3 of us-- staying with her until the wee hours of the night. She had her appendix out at 5:30am.

This is what friendship is.

A time for reflection

I think it is so crazy that I have started to have my "lasts" here in Connecticut.

I went to Palmyra for the last time with the Waveny Park ward. CRAZY. I have gone for the past 7 years every summer. And this was my last one! The first time I went I had just been put in the RS presidency. And so I went into the grove with a full heart and praying for guidance on how to help the sisters I was now a shepherd for. And 7 years later, I went in to pray for me. Pray that I was taking the right path.

In my patriarticle blessing, it says that I will serve a mission. And I had gone through my teenage years thinking that as soon as I hit 21-- I was on my way. But even then the Lord told me "no". That wasn't' a path that I was to take. And I think this was my mission. This is what I was meant to do. And so all along when I thought I was going to go and make a change in someone else's life-- it was mine that I was going to make the change in. I came to Connecticut with a very broken heart. And I am leaving it with a whole and healed heart.

All of these things came to my mind as I sat in the Sacred Grove. It is wonderful to walk the grounds where the Lord Jesus Christ and the Father have been. Where Joseph caused the mighty change to come about in the world. I am grateful for the opportunities that I have had while out here.

And I know I will be back....

Stressed to the Max...

I am usually a very calm and collected person. But as of late I feel as though my life is falling down around my feet one brick at a time! I am like on the verge of tears every time I am alone...

I am moving in 5 WEEKS!! I still have all of my things on the wall and not a single box packed. And I don't know if it is because I am just in denial of the whole fact that I am moving-- or if it is because I am hoping the "packing" fairy will show up and wave her wand.

And then there is the matter of needing to make a "nanny handbook" for the new nanny. Let me tell you how overwhelming that is. I have to write down all addresses, directions, and phone numbers of all the things that the kids use on a regular basis. i.e. doctor, dentist, hockey, swimming...

I thought I would go running tonight at the gym. As I get up to speed my mind is racing just as fast as my feet! That wasn't a good idea...

So... here I am...trying to figure out where I am to be ... and not doing a good job with that decision.

Because I like to talk...

So I think that this is a good outlet for me. This typing and then posting. It is a release :)

I have been off of work since Wednesday afternoon. And it has been lovely!! I think we all need a break every so often. I have been under a lot of stress lately too with the decision on where to move and then how to get there, etc. I have not even gotten out of my pajamas before 2 both days! That is just pure joy to me.

So I feel like this is the end of an era for me. My very dear friend Rhonda is moving to Kansas and I am leaving in 5 weeks. So crazy! Rhonda has been out here as a nanny for a total of 9 years. And I have been out here for close to 7. WOW!! And I guess this is when we move on to be adults. :) (meh, we'll see!)

I'll miss her a lot!

I'm not Bloody Australian!!

So, as it turns out... everything I say in my head today is said in an aussie accent. I think I'll blame that on Jai. Yes, I will most definatly blame that on Jai.

I think we should move Australia closer to Utah. Anyone in with me??

With much trepidation...

Sooo...... um UTAH IT IS!! Wow... I cannot believe that I just said/typed that. But yes, I am moving to Utah.

It is really amazing that process of this decision.

When you loose your mother at a young age, as I have, you lean that the Lord has a plan for everyone. And I was always lucky and never doubted that. Never once, did I think my Father in Heaven forgot about me.

And so it was with this decision. I KNOW with out a doubt that there is a plan for me. There has always been a plan for me. :)

It started out at the beginning of the year knowing that this was the year that I was going to have to leave New England. It was just time. That in no way means that I have felt disenchanted with the area or the Pags, but it was time for Tara to become and adult and finish school or switch careers, or what have you. And then I told Chris and Dorothy in March. I thought that gave them enough time to find a "replacement" (let's face it, I am irreplaceable). But I could not look for a new nanny job until it got closer to the time that I was to leave. So I made the date the 23rd of August. So that was going to be mid-June before I could look for a job.

I thought I would try something new.. something different. DALLAS!!! I interviewed for 5 different jobs in TX. And none of them fit. I was waiting for that "click". And I was not getting it. So... I thought I would give SLC a try. The first family I looked at called me, and with in 4 days I was offered the job.

So you are wondering... was there a "click". :) Yes... I am moving because I got my "click".

So... today I thought about Utah. I mean, I really really thought about it. And I think I could make it work. I would totally have to live in Salt Lake. I don't think it would be wise to move to Ogden or anything. 6 year just outside of NYC and move to Northern Utah. Could be social suicide. But.. (sigh) it would be nice to move closer to family. And I make friends pretty fast. I am just hoping that this is the move where I find a husband. And as much I dont' want to be that girl that moves somwhere so that she can start dating... I am that girl. dammit!! :)

So I have about 7 weeks to go here in Wilton. What a crazy life I am living. I cannot believe that I am leaving behind the money and health insurance just to jump into none of that. I think I might be nuts. Sheesh!! OH yeah-- and now I have to pay for gas. And uh, right now it is $4.53 a gallon!

so.. there it is. All out on the table.